AMID SECRETS - CHAPTER 47
*Maduka’s POV*
“Saheed and Tasha now live in the same estate?”
“What a coincidence.”
I call Jide on my phone. He tells me the address of Tasha’s flat. I park my car in the space reserved for visitors. Nwanyieze lets herself out before me.
“This is where we first met,” she says.
“When Saheed threw you into the pool. Tasha never told me she lives here now.”
I take her hand. She obliges, giving mine a small squeeze. It takes us over five minutes to locate Tasha’s apartment on the seventh floor of the third building. The moment we step out of the elevators on the seventh floor, we can hear the muffled bass of loud music coming from the apartment. Another phone call, and Jide opens the door for us.
“Welcome,” he yells, already tipsy from alcohol. He gives me a hug, and pats Nwanyieze’s arm. We step in, and the first person my eyes land on is Saheed Bello, lounging on a couch and sipping from a glass of clear liquid, most likely vodka. He smiles at us, a slow, wicked, knowingsmile. His eyes even linger on Nwanyieze.
What in the blazes is he doing here? The nerve…
Nwanyieze squeezes my hand, having sighted him, too. It’s like my body is being pulled towards him, my hands desperately want to make contact with his throat and cut off his air supply–
“Don’t, please,” Nwanyieze whispers to me- yells, really, as the music is loud.
I pull her closer and place my lips on hers, just so he knows who she belongs with. Surprised, she stares up at me, lips slightly parted. At that moment, the current song, Runtown’s Energy, has ended and the next one, Tiwa Savage and Wizkid’s Ma Lo, starts to play. The pause is enough for me to pass a message to her so she can hear it: “This doesn’t change our current situation, baby girl.”
“I know.”
______
*Nwanyieze’s POV*
Those light brown eyes had frozen me right there on the spot. And Maduka’s kiss right in front of everyone present…
My legs are still shaking in my black pumps when Maduka says, “There’s Tasha. Let’s go and greet her.”
My arm linked with his, Maduka leads me through a small crowd of about twenty people towards the other end of the room, where Tasha stands close to a table laden with snacks. Her gold sequined dress catches the light and sparkles beautifully in the bright lights. Her hair is in a high bun atop her head, adorned with metal beads. Professionally done make up sits on her face, which breaks up into a smile as we approach her.
Maduka gives her a side hug, but I notice that she holds onto him for longer. I force a smile and extend a hand, which she takes with an equally forced smile. I hear the music lowering and absently look over my shoulder to find its source. Saheed is close to the sound system, lowering the music. Our eyes meet again, and he winks at me, his grin still there.
I have a bad feeling about this.
“Meet my friend,” Tasha tells Maduka and I. She turns and gestures to a person. The person steps forward and I nearly have a heart attack.
Temitope.
Temi is equally surprised to see me. Her eyes widen at the sight of me, her brows almost reach her hairline.
“Queen!” she exclaims. “Longest time!”
“Hello, Temi,” I greet her, stepping forward to receive her excited hug. She withdraws after a few seconds and looks me over.
“You look so good, my dear! I’m so happy to see you!”
“You look good, too,” I reply weakly. She is wearing a form-fitting black playsuit and sky-high heels, and on her head is a huge afro.
“You two know each other?” Tasha asks. “What a small world.”
“Yes, small world, isn’t it?” comes a voice from behind me.
Saheed is suddenly standing beside Temi, a lazy smile on his face. But his eyes are glittering with mischief, and I know better than to believe his smile.
“Is she your course mate, Nwanyieze?” Maduka asks, confused. Temi gives him a glance, opens her mouth to speak, but says nothing and closes it instead.
“No,” I reply. Suddenly, it feels like the room is spinning. “Temi, we’ll talk later. Maduka, I need a drink.”
I allow him to lead me away from the little group to the balcony. The lights are dimmer here, and the cool night air is a huge relief.
“Are you okay?”
I nod slowly.
“If you don’t want to be here, we could leave. Tasha and Saheed seem to be trying their best to make you uncomfortable.”
“I can’t blame them. Maduka, they teamed up against me. And it’s justifiable.”
“How is it justifiable?”
“This is Saheed’s flat. Tasha is hosting her party here for a reason.”
“Are they a thing now?”
“I don’t know about that, but I’m sure that Temi is here for a reason.”
“I’m listening.”
Suddenly, I feel myself go numb. I can’t explain how, maybe it’s self-preservation, the need to feel no pain in order to function in difficult situations… I take a deep breath.
“Temi and I used to work together.”
“This is new. What kind of work?”
I look at him square in the face. “Maduka, I’m more messed up than you think. I used to be a prostitute. In modern language, I’m a hoe. The night we first met, I was supposed to hook up with Saheed.”
Silence. Then, “Is this a joke or something?”
“It’s not,” I reply, wishing it is a joke. “That’s what Saheed has been holding over my head. That’s why he has been bent on making me uncomfortable…”
Stunned, Maduka runs a hand over his hair. I continue talking. I suddenly can’t stop- I need to let everything out. Our relationship is destroyed already, but I know I can’t give him half explanations.
“I’ve been a prostitute for three years. My adoptive mother’s prophecy came true. I have slept with men for money. I sold myself. I had accepted it as a part of my life… Until I met you.”
I won’t survive a fall from the seventh floor, right?
“Maduka, I know there was no justification for what I did, I know it was wrong of me to keep you in the dark when Saheed knew about it and taunted you with it. You were so good to me, and I thought… I thought that if you found out, you would h@?? me. I was stupid. It makes no difference now. I am still stupid.”
He says nothing while I speak, but watches me. His face is blank.
“I’m sorry. A part of me wondered what a guy like you would be doing with a girl like me, but it was too good to be true. This is crazy. I’m sorry. I deserve wh@??ver you do or say.”
His silence is worse than any other reaction I expected. Tears sting my eyes, my chest is burning to release uncontrollable sobs. I feel cold all over, inside and out.
In the living room, everyone else is eating. I hear the clink of cutlery against ceramic plates, the pop of wine bottles being opened, and muted laughter.
Maduka lets out a small laugh, but the sound makes me cringe. It is dark, a low sound without humour. I take a step back from him, my back against the metal railing that stops me from plunging to my possible death seven floors below.
“One way or the other, you keep making me look like a fool, Nwanyieze.”
“I didn’t mean to-”
“And when exactly were you going to tell me? On the altar? After two children?”
I turn away from him and look out into the night. The full moon is beautiful, silently watching the scene we are creating from her silver pillows.
“Look at me.”
Helpless, I obey his command. My face is already wet. My self-preservation ski||s have failed me, because I can feel the sting of every word he says.
“So this was the reason for their party? To force you to confess? You needed to be forced? Without their influence, you’d be fine with keeping me in the dark?”
“I wanted to break up with you!”
“Oh,” he says, sounding like he’s just made a new discovery. “Saheed was right, then.”
“He wasn’t. There was no way I was going to be with him!”
Maduka shrugs. “Should I believe that now?”
“I wanted to break up with you because I didn’t want to hurt you with the truth!”
Another mirthless laugh that plunges swords of ice into my heart. He spreads his arms and shrugs. “Hurt me with the truth, she says. That worked well, didn’t it?”
“I wish it did,” I murmur.
“You would have abruptly called all this off without giving me a reason, Nwanyieze? You keep surprising me.”
“I don’t know! I’m sorry!” I erupt. I turn away again, unable to face him and bear the agony of seeing him vulnerable, seeing him hurt because of me, because of my stupidity.
“How do I take this? Seven months together, and you just decided to tell me because Saheed made you uncomfortable enough to spill this? This explains those comments you made about us, doesn’t it?” His voice rises, drawing the attention of those in the living room. I hear conversations stop and feel their attention focusing on us.
I can’t stay here any longer. I move to walk past him, covering my mouth with a hand to stifle my sobs. But he grabs my wrist to stop me, and the contact shocks me, because I’m filthy, I’m tainted, I’ve done enough damage already, and I just have to disappear.
What happens next shocks everyone in the room. I open my mouth and let out a bloodcurdling scream. Equally shocked, Maduka withdraws from me. Everyone goes silent after the scream, watching us.
That’s it. The final disgrace. I don’t doubt Tasha and Saheed will have a field day explaining to everyone what happened here. My hand over my mouth again, Maduka and I gaze at each other. I find myself wishing I could take that scream back. I hadn’t expected myself to react that way. I am unstable, I had really wanted to get away…
He’ll be a laughing stock. They will laugh at Maduka.
Now crying loudly, I rush towards the front door, my face lowered in shame. It feels like I have those words branded on my forehead.
Akwuna. Ashawo. Olosho. wh-_-re. Prostitute. Hoe.
In my speed, I bump into someone, who firmly holds me by my arms. I look up to see Saheed, staring at my face. His expression is surprised, brows drawn together. For a moment I’m transfixed, struggling in my mind to h@?? him, to blame him for everything, but I can’t. It’s all my fault. He studies my face, taking in the tears, the shame. I wait for him to smile and tell me that I deserve this. But he doesn’t speak.
“I hope you’re happy,” I whisper before breaking free and reaching the front door. In the elevator, I collapse onto the floor in a heap, too weak to stand. It’s like my eyes are taps. I don’t bother to stop the flow of salty liquid.
Exiting the building, I take brisk steps towards the gate, desperately wanting to put as much distance as I can between me and everyone in Saheed’s flat.
“Queen!”
I ignore the voice, bent on escaping. The gate man lets me out and murmurs about being safe on the roads at night. I thank him hastily, my face still lowered.
“Queen, wait abeg !”
“Temi?”
I wait outside, underneath the bright street lights, trying to bury my pain. I need my sanity to get home safely.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
But my lungs feel too small to carry the amount of oxygen I need. Once again, I feel dizzy.
“How are you?” Temi asks when she stands in front of me. She looks sad, and in her eyes I understand that she knew what had just happened inside.
Her question paves the way for more crying. Before I know it, I’m spilling useless words to her, babbling in an effort to express myself, to tell her how I’m hurting, how useless I feel, how dirty I feel. She pulls me into a hug, this lady I haven’t seen in months, who knows nothing about me except what I told her on the streets of Opebi.
“I’ll take you home, Queen. You shouldn’t be alone.”
“I messed up,” I wail. “I messed up, Temi.”
“E go better,” she assures me gently, rubbing a hand over my back to reduce my hiccups. “My dear, e go better.”
_____
*Maduka’s POV*
And to think we found each other in this very estate, I tell myself. I don’t know how long I remain standing there on the balcony after Nwanyieze has left, but Tasha’s voice pulls me out of my jumbled thoughts.
“What?” I ask over my shoulder, unable to hear what she had initially said.
“I brought you some snacks.”
“Thanks, but I’ll pass.”
“Maduka, I’m sorry about your girlfriend. That was a terrible thing to do to you.”
“And organizing this party with Saheed was the best way I could find out the truth, Tasha?”
“When Saheed told me, I had to find a way to force her to confess. The deception had been going on for too long, Mads.”
“Tasha, it’s one thing to do this because you genuinely care about me. It’s another thing to do this because of your own interest. But thank you, anyways.”
She says nothing for a while, gathering her thoughts. “Would you prefer not knowing about her?”
I sigh. “I was happier when I didn’t know about that part of her past.”
“Mads, if you need anyone to talk to-”
I turn to face her. “I’ll be fine, Tasha. Please, I want to make it clear to you for the last time: there is no chance of us ever getting back together. What we had was great, but its over now. The role you played tonight was more about your dislike for Nwanyieze and less about your genuine care about my wellbeing.”
“That’s not true-”
“I saw you at the hospital. The way you looked at her. Tonight, you had the same look on your face. You hugged me longer than usual just so she could feel uncomfortable. You befriended Temi, so you could bring her here and intimidate her. You weren’t looking out for me. You wanted her out of the way. And speaking of that, thank you for the pictures. You should take up a course on photography.”
In the dim light, I can see the surprise on her face. I walk past her into the living room. Looking above the heads of the people pretending like they haven’t just watched a full movie through the French doors, I spot Saheed standing close to the food table. He is looking down at something there, so he doesn’t hear me approach him.
“Guy,” I say when I’m behind him.
The moment he turns, my fist connects with his face, sending him crashing into the table and pouring food all over the floor.
“Oh my goodness!” Tasha gasps from behind me.
“I really needed to do that,” I tell him. Turning to Tasha, I advice her, “This one is a snake, darling. I hope your own venom can counteract his.”
At the door, I look at the small congregation and say, “Thank you for watching tonight’s movie. Good night.”