AMID SECRETS - CHAPTER 46
*Nwanyieze’s POV*
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
“I don’t want to attend the party!”
“It’s not a party; it’s just a small gathering of her friends. And she extended the invitation to you since I introduced you as my girlfriend and she’s grateful for the part you played in her recovery.”
I sigh. Can’t he understand? There’s something I don’t like about her, Tasha. The way she had looked at me like she wanted me to disappear, the name she had called me, Queen. Maybe its because that’s what Saheed calls me. Tasha wants him back, and how do I deal with that as my situation is precarious?
“Maduka, things are as complicated as they are right now. Attending the party is not a good idea for me.”
“I’ve never known you to be easily intimidated.”
“Tasha obviously wants to be a huge part of your life, and my presence-”
“Do you really want to get started about who wants to be a huge part of our lives?”
I push away my bowl of Golden Morn and rise from the floor of my room, my appetite having disappeared. I transfer my phone from my left ear to my right. d@mn, I shouldn’t have brought that up.
Maduka sighs on the other end. I can see him in my mind’s eye, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes for a few moments.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I brought that up,” he says in a low voice. “That was a low blow. I’m hurting, but that’s no excuse to lash back at you that way.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
“What you’re sorry for, I’ll never know until you tell me. It’s been two weeks, Nwanyieze. It seems you’re adjusting fine without me.”
I want to tell him that I haven’t been frequently attending lectures, that I’m unable to sleep well at night, and that my dreams are filled with him lashing out at me with bitter words. I want to tell him, that I’ve lost weight because I can’t eat properly these days, and that I catch myself staring at nothing in particular. Sometimes I wish I could unmeet him, to save him the heartbreak and deceit.
“That’s not true.”
“Then what is it?”
Unable to speak further, I remain silent while tears fill my eyes. I take in a deep breath, hold it in for ten seconds, and release it through my mouth.
“Nwanyieze, is something wrong? Is something bothering you? Asides from us, are you experiencing any other problems?”
“You’ve asked me this before. Everything is fine with my life.”
“Why doesn’t it feel so?”
Save him the stress, tell him. But is it avoidable? You don’t tell him, it’s stress. You tell him, it’s still stress.
“What’s the dress code?”
He is silent for a few moments, stunned by the way I changed the subject. Maduka understands that I’d rather not talk about me right now, and so he replies, “Vintage vibes. How she came up with that, I don’t know.”
“I should have some vintage style clothes.”
“I’ll have to go shopping for those. I’ll pick you up on Friday night by eight.”
“Okay.”
“And Nwanyieze?”
“Yes?”
“I really look forward to seeing you.”
“I look forward to seeing you, too.”
Friday night catches me fidgeting and twisting my kinky coils around my fingers. Mama Uju and Adanna are in their room, where she is helping Adanna complete her homework. Mama Uju isn’t saying much to me about Maduka these days, after hearing about my outing with Saheed and advising me to spill the truth before it’s too late.
“I’ve told you my own, nne,” she had said over two weeks ago. “Tell him and face the consequences. This is something you should have said from the beginning.”
Regret eats me up from the inside. Why did I even fall for him in the first place?
But who wouldn’t fall for him? It had been gradual on my part, having him go slowly. Maduka has been the best thing to ever happen to me in years, and sometimes I still marvel at how someone can be so patient with me, so understanding.
I bet this time is the last straw.
My phone rings and I jump. It is Maduka, calling to let me know that he is outside my compound. I leave our flat and lock it with my own key. Maduka is waiting for me beside his parked car, leaning on the passenger’s side.
His shirt is loose and colourful under the streetlights, a swirl of bold reds and blues with short sleeves. He has left the buttons open to his waist, where it has been tucked into a pair of dark trousers. Simple dark loafers adorn his feet.
“Beautiful, as always,” he tells me with a smile.
“Thank you. You look good, too.”
“This was the best I could come up with. Somto- my sister- tried to force an afro wig on me, but that was where I drew the line.”
I laugh at his remark while he grins and shakes his head. “It wouldn’t have looked that bad, Madi.”
There it is again, that ease with which we relate. With him, my laughter flows easily and everything has a potential to be funny. My worries evaporate, they seem trivial to me. I pause at the realisation and he does the same. A moment passes with us standing awkwardly and staring at each other.
“After you,” he tells me, moving to open the door for me.
I thank him and slide in.
“How has school been?” He asks during the drive.
“Fine. Resumption period is over, and so the assignments keep flowing in. The struggle just got real.”
“You’ll pull through. No more Mr. Richards?”
“No more of them.”
“You know, each time I want to laugh, I remember the way he screamed that night.”
My grin is too big to contain. “He said the Lord’s Prayer faster than I’ve ever heard anyone say it.”
“And you told him he would love his new tail as your marine kingdom husband. How on earth did you come up with that line?”
We battle countless fits of laughter, remembering the night I had given an award-worthy performance.
“And on the way home, you slept off in my car. You smeared your make up, you were so exhausted… and I thought of how beautiful and peaceful you looked right then.”
“You were watching me sleep? Weren’t you supposed to be driving?”
Maduka chuckles. “I had already confirmed it was you from years ago, and I remembered how you used to sleep in my arms. Right then, I just… I just wanted to hold you.”
The admission makes me uncomfortable because his voice is lowering, and it makes warmth spread all through my insides. He glances at me briefly.
“I love you. Wh@??ver it is, it won’t change my feelings. I know you’re not playing me, I know your feelings for me are genuine. All I want is complete honesty. Is it that difficult?”
“You have no idea,” I whisper. The pain is back, a constant reminder that I have to bare myself to him, especially my biggest secret. My chest suddenly feels tight and tears are thr_@tening to flow.
“The address is on the island.”
“Oh, that’s a long drive,” I reply, grateful for the distraction from my misery.
“Are you okay? You don’t sound too good.”
“I’m fine. I’m fine.”
But he parks his car in front of one of the many fast food joints along Ikorodu road and turns on the inner light.
“It’s not safe here, Maduka,” I tell him, tring to hide my tears.
“I’m taking that risk.”
“Keep driving.”
“Why are you crying? What is wrong?” He said
“I’m on my period. I’m having cramps.”
He gives a short laugh. “This never gets old, does it?” His hands cup my face as he gazes at me. “You’re always on your period whenever I ask you this.”
“Can…can we go now?”
“It always annoys me when you avoid answering some questions. Do you have trust issues where I’m concerned?”
“I never said that.”
“You don’t have to say it.”
“You won’t put words in my mouth tonight, Maduka. We have argued enough.”
“But I can put my mouth on yours, right?”
“Yes,” I almost beg. “Please.”
He sighs. “There goes my strong will.”
This kiss is a hungry one, fuelled by our mutual need for each other over the past few weeks. His hand firmly holds the back of my head, smothering the coils I had taken great care to arrange for tonight. The other arm is around my waist, pulling me over from my seat to his so I can straddle him. While Maduka’s lips move from mine to my neck, I reach upwards and turn off the inner lights.
We are enveloped in darkness, the sound of night traffic distant in our ears. Clothes rustle, silk whispers, sighs are released.
“You don’t know…the torture of staying away from you,” he groans when I kiss his shoulder.
“I know.”
“I’m not supposed to give in. But I can’t. You’re intoxicating…”
His fingers lower the zip of my dress and start to trail up and down my spine, making me shiver and arch into him.
“I wish I could see your face right now,” he tells me, his voice hoarse. His teeth graze my ear lobe and I wonder, how we’re ever going to get to that party from here.
Not that I’m bothered.
Underneath me, it is obvious that he is aroused. I lower my head to his chest, using a hand to feel my way. My mouth closes around his ??pplë and Maduka gasps in shock. His fingers involuntarily dig into my skin.
“You’ve ki||ed me,” he Mõ@?s. “Nwanyieze, you’ve finished me.”
I find myself laughing out loud without control. That’s the thing with him; intimate moments tend to be intense and funny at the same time. Once again he captures my lips and our kiss is deeper than before, with our hands roving.
His phone rings, bringing us back to planet earth.
“It’s Jide. We’re late already.”
“Oh. Okay.”
We are both breathing heavily, wanting more. But he zips up my dress slowly, sensuously, making sure I know that, if not for the interruption, something would have happened.
“I think my make up is ruined.”
“Let me check for you.”
When I’m seated properly, Maduka turns on the inner light and tilts my chin upwards. His eyes linger on mine for a few seconds before moving over my face. They are intensely focused, like he’s trying to look right into me. My insides, already trying to resume their normal activities, stop moving. My breath catches again.
He produces a handkerchief and proceeds to dab at the corners of my mouth, chuckling about how he had licked off my lipstick.
“I have lip balm,” I tell him.
“Do you have more powder? Because I might have licked off a bit of that, too.”
“Yes,” I reply in a small voice, suddenly embarrassed at the realisation that we were this close to having segz near a busy road.
He watches me blend on more powder on my cheeks and apply some lip balm.
“Good to go.”
For these few minutes, we forget that our relationship is in a dangerous position, and he drives us to the island.
_____
*Maduka’s POV*
Don’t lose focus.
I had slipped. Like a fly, I had walked into the Venus flytrap, I had tasted the nectar and failed to remember the danger associated with it. It’s easy, so easy, to lose myself in her and forget the problems in front of me.
Nwanyieze looks out the window as I drive on the brightly illuminated third mainland bridge, silent. The vast expanse of water glimmers under the full moon, and I briefly wonder if this is how Richard Adeyemo had imagined it when Nwanyieze had promised to take him to her marine kingdom.
What is she hiding? An affair with Saheed?
I shake my head to delete that thought. Thoughts of physical violence towards the self-serving bastard dominate my mind. My knuckles would hurt in a nice way after giving him an uppercut.
And what about her? What would you do to her?
Absolutely nothing. As stupid as it seems, the question that keeps repeating itself over and over in my mind is, what would I do to myself?
“This estate looks familiar,” I tell her when we drive through the opened gates. The apartment blocks are massive, the exteriors covered in white marble slabs.
“This is Saheed’s estate,” Nwanyieze whispers.
“Saheed and Tasha now live in the same estate?”
“What a coincidence.”