AMID SECRETS - CHAPTER 18
*Maduka’s POV*
Hearing her say it makes me feel worse than I’d imagined. I take one of her hands in mine. It’s a bit cold at the finger tips, telling me that even though she looks calm, she feels anything but.
“I’m sorry for prying, Nwanyieze.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. You had to find out sooner or later. You’re quite the questionnaire, you know.”
“I won’t pry again, I promise.”
It’s clear that she’s hurting on the inside, that I’ll never know the extent unless she lets me.
“So it seems we’re done with breakfast. I’ll take these away now.”
“No, let me do that.”
She raises a brow. “You made breakfast, it’s only fair that I clean up.”
I watch her lift the tray and leave for the kitchen. I follow her in after a few minutes, knowing that she needs the space and time to compose herself. She is almost done with the dishes, and looking for something to do just to be close to her, I take a dish towel and start drying the dishes and cutlery.
The need to hold her is overwhelming. I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from telling her that I’m also an orphan, that it was me who found and named her. But the fear of her asking about how I lost my parents could lead to something else, could take me down a path I am not willing to even think of.
“I’ll be leaving now, Maduka.”
“Why?” I asked without thinking.
I follow her back into the living room where she picks up her purse.
“I have things to do.”
“We both know that’s a lie, Nwanyieze.”
Her company has brightened my day, and it is just my luck that I had to ruin it all.
At the door, she turns back to look at me, her dark eyes now alight with anger. Still, she is beautiful as ever, my baby girl.
“I don’t really have much to do, fine. But I’m going to make up something to do instead of being here.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean, Mr. Obiagu, is that I’d rather be somewhere else than here with you looking at me with pity. I do not know how to deal with pity being directed at me.”
She walks out and shuts the door with a slam.
I know it’s best not to follow her.
Some wounds never heal, and I’m not talking about the physical ones.
_____
*Nwanyieze’s POV*
Standing beside Temi right in front of Peckers, I breathe in the familiar scents of Opebi: spicy chicken from the restaurant itself, smoke from the exhaust pipes of cars passing by, the heavy perfumes of the women standing and strutting the area around me.
“Babe, e don tay when I see you last oh,” Temi tells me.
It’s been long since I last saw you.
“I’ve been busy, my dear,” I replied.
Busy giving your attention to a man who won’t want anything to do with you now that he knows you’re from nowhere. Stupid girl.
I guess it could have been worse, though. What if he had found out, through one way or another, that I am a prostitute? What would he have done then? I’m pretty sure I would have made myself disappear permanently.
Yes, that’s how much I care about Maduka’s opinions.
That’s how much I care about Maduka.
Was I really that stupid to think, for one moment, that we could actually have something in common, something that would bring us closer?
And, I’d actually enjoyed myself while it lasted, the meaningful discussions that had nothing to do with segz and it’s price, the attraction between us…
Which brings me to the reason I’m standing here. You see, meeting Maduka had subconsciously made me shy away from the streets, from what I do because I didn’t feel that interest any longer. It was like he was slowly getting underneath my skin even without touching me; being close to him made me so aware of myself in ways I can’t describe, and I’ve never felt that way before, not even with all the handsome men I’ve been with in my short life.
I’m here because I want to prove to myself that I can get him out of my system, that now we have nothing to do with each other, I can go back to my old life without any wahala.
You’re also here because it’s all you’ve known, that dark voice in my head tells me. Loveless segz is all you’re used to, and you’re scared you won’t be able to cope in a relationship. You’re tainted, stained, dirty.
Who would even accept me as I am now, though? If I ever met a guy and said, “Oh, you know, I used to be a prostitute, and a victim of segzual abuse,” would he, in his right senses, want me anymore? Hell no.
With a sigh, I adjusted my wig, arrange the fringes, and use my palms to smoothen the front of my black, sleeveless gown. This one is a bit loose and very short with a low-cut neckline, ending at mid-thigh. On my feet are strappy silver six-inch heels.
“So what have you been up to?” Temi asked me, snapping me out of my dark thoughts.
“School work, you know.”
After Saheed’s party, we haven’t seen each other, but we spoke over the phone twice and I gave her sketchy details of how it had gone for me. She had called Saheed an ‘evil spirit’ and I had laughed so hard she had to yell at me to stop before I suffocated.
“No use book ki|| yourself oh,” she warns me. (Don’t use books to over work yourself.)
Temi does not attend university; she feels that it’s too late for her, despite my encouragement. I told her that there are older people than she is there, but she remains adamant, while being wistful as well. She fears she won’t be able to cope in such an environment.
“Yes, ma,” I smiled at her.
I notice a Mercedes G-Wagon has parked a few metres from where Temi and I stand, and the women start moving closer to the vehicle, preening and calling out to the driver.
“Customer, come this side, I have what you need.”
“I can give it to you spicy tonight.”
“Come and get some shuga from me.”
“Pick me, you won’t regret it.”
I’m too immersed in my conversation with Temi, trying to tell her for the millionth time that university isn’t really bad, that she should try writing the Joint Admission Matriculation Board (JAMB) examinations early next year. I temporarily forget the car until someone touches my arm, making me leap.
“How much?”
A man stands before me, dressed casually in jeans and a red shirt. He is the same height as I am in heels, dark skinned and stocky. His head is full of dreadlocks, which he has in a ponytail at the back of his head.
Where this one from come now? I think.
“Depends on how long you want me,” I replied in my sultry voice.
“All night,” he said, regarding me with eyes that seem a bit too cold.
I told him the price, he nods and leads me to his car, but not before Temi gives my arm a small squeeze of encouragement. The disappointed prostitutes hiss, call me names and move away from the car.
He tells me that he has booked a room in one of the big hotels in Oshodi along Airport Road.
On the ride to the hotel, his right hand moves from the steering wheel to my thigh. He runs it up and down, and I’m surprised to find out that I’m actually repulsed by his touch. But I don’t move away. I’m going to prove to myself that I can sleep with whoever the hell I want, that Maduka’s effect on me isn’t permanent.
“You’re so succulent, you know,” he told me.
I offer him a fake giggle.
Hoe is life, isn’t it? my inner voice mocks.
He doesn’t say much after that, and I get the impression that this man will be a punisher in bed, the kind to not give you breathing space because since he is paying, you have to give it your all because you’re not human but a machine. This one probably won’t say much, no discussions, just hard core segz. I find myself missing Maduka’s presence, and I brush the feeling away.
In thirty minutes, we arrived at The Golden Tulip. While walking into the huge building, my customer places a possessive arm around my waist, pulling me closer. I oblige him. After all, he is paying for my services.
Maduka’s face flashes before my eyes and suddenly I feel uncomfortable. At the reception, he collects his key card and we get into an elevator to the fourth floor. The moment he closes the room door behind me, he grabs me and fastens his lips to my neck. I shiver from revulsion and my hands move up between us.
“Let’s shower first,” I suggested, lowering my lashes.
He’s about to protest when I say, “If you shower, I promise I’ll give you much more than you bargained for. We’ll shower together.”
I can almost see what he has in mind after my suggestion. Lust makes him grin, revealing dentition decorated by a gold canine tooth. With one last lick of my neck, he steps back and throws off his clothes. I have to hand it to him, he’s fit, muscles nicely toned. I pretend to undress, slowly taking off my earrings. He walks into the bathroom and I follow after him, only spending a few seconds to tell him what a segzy body he has, how I can’t wait to touch him after our bath.
“Let me get undressed,” I concluded.
Quickly, I shut the bathroom door and lock it with the key I have removed from the keyhole on the inside.
“Hey!” he yells in surprise, banging on the door a bit too late.
Not interested in his expensive-looking watches, rings, chains and full wallet on the night stand, I put my earrings into my purse and leave the room with the key card. Calmly, I take the elevator to the ground floor. The receptionist curiously stares at me as I approach her counter, my heels clicking on the marble floor.
“Give him back his key card, room 411,” I told her, sliding the card towards her as I pass the counter.
“Madam, how come he’s still inside and you took it with you?” she asked, clearly confused.
Near the glass doors, I turn, raise a hand to my mouth, and calmly say, “Oops. I forgot.”
Once away from the parking lot, I slip off my sandals and race to the road side, where I flag down a yellow taxi and hop in without even negotiating a price.
What the hell is happening to me?
______
*Maduka’s POV*
“She’s not around right now.”
I inhale deeply, scratch my head, and look up at the ceiling.
Madam Uju allows me into the sitting room and offers me a seat. I recline, wipe my brow with a handkerchief, and inhale deeply again. The heat these days is quite unbearable. Lagos weather tends to get confused sometimes; it rains so hard you’d think The Flood from the Bible is going to happen again, and then the heatwave that returns makes you wonder if Rapture has occurred and hell has started on earth.
Of course you know I’m exaggerating.
“Let me get you something cold to drink,” she said.
“Yes, please. Thank you, ma.”
With Madam Uju gone, I let my mind wander to how Nwanyieze has been doing since I last saw her. She’d left my place in such a hurry, and I had seen how difficult it was for her to control her anger. I have been worried for the past week, and it hasn’t been possible to seek her out because of work, and I figured she’d have school to deal with as well.
Madam Uju serves me a chilled bottle of water, which I unseal and drain in thirty seconds. I thank her again. A silence ensues, with her studying me. I feel a bit uncomfortable and regret leaving my copy of Chinua Achebe’s There Was A Country in my car.
“Ma,” I finally speak up, “how has Nwanyieze been?”
“She’s been fine. A little distracted, but otherwise healthy.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“I don’t mean to intrude, but as the person responsible for her, I have to ask you: what is your interest in my child all about?”
I smile inwardly at her concern and how she refers to Nwanyieze as her child.
“I sincerely care about her.”
“And?”
“I want something beautiful to be the result of our relationship.”
Haha. Does Nwanyieze refer to what you have as friendship, first of all? She’ll just tell you, “Ship ko, shipni,” a voice in my head mocks.
She grins, shakes her head. “And what if that doesn’t work as you plan?”
“Ma, I’m going to try my very best and if it all fails, I’ll know it was never meant to be.”
Maduka, you are one sappy son of a gun, I tell myself.
“I wish you good luck,” she said. “My daughter is a hard nut to crack. She’s a firebrand, but I’m sure you must have noticed that.”
“The first moment,” I replied with a laugh, remembering how she had sarcastically called me a Prince Charming.
“But be careful with her, Maduka,” she said in a low voice. “Take it easy with her, be patient. And if you hurt her, I’ll come for you.” Her eyes suddenly look different, a bit more…open. I glimpse worry and something like sadness in them before she rubs them both with her hands. The last sentence is said with a chuckle, but I recognise the warning, anyway and tell myself that Madam Uju isn’t a woman to cross on any day. I nod and say, “I can’t be anything but, ma.”
A knock sounds on the door and Madam Uju rises to answer it. Adanna bursts inside and wraps her arms around her mother’s legs.
“Mummy, mummy good afun!” she yells.
“Good evening, my princess,” Madam Uju replied, scooping her daughter up and smothering her with kisses. The toddler giggles and continues to babble in a language only her mother can understand. Madam Uju wraps an arm around Nwanyieze, who walks in seconds later. Then she leaves the sitting room with Adanna.
Nwanyieze hesitates to fully enter, taking her time to slip off her flat black shoes before raising her eyes to look at me. She is wearing a white button-down shirt over a navy blue pencilled skirt. Her hair is in bold box braids, pulled up in a bun.
“Good evening,” she finally greeted.
“Welcome home.”
“Why are you here?”
Yes, ever the firebrand.
I rise to my feet, move towards her. She does not back away.
“How have you been?” I asked , never breaking eye contact.
“Fine. Why?”
“After what happened last Saturday-”
“Oh, that. It’s nothing, really,” she said in a flat voice.
It’s not nothing.
I get a whiff of the scent of coconut oil coming from her hair.
“What’s funny? Why are you smiling?”
“Your hair smells so nice.”
“You have started again, abi?”
“I want to take you out this evening.”
“Is this the part where I tell you no?”
“Exactly. And then you agree after my ski||s of persuasion have worked their magic on you.”
This gets me a smile from her, which reveals a dimple in her left cheek that I wish so badly to kiss.
“You’ll have to wait for me to shower. The heat is unbearable.”
“I’ve been praised for my unbeatable patience, baby girl. Take your time.”
She places her hands on my chest, pushes me aside–because I actually move myself– and walks to the farthest end of the sitting room, standing near the doorway that leads deeper into the apartment.
“Let’s see how patient you are, hmm?” she asked over her shoulder before disappearing through, leaving my skin burning, my heart pounding, and my mouth turned up in a grin.