❃ I want you in me again ❃

She turns facing him and he quickly hide the brush behind him, wearing a smile immediately.

“Let’s go to sleep now, it’s late” He said and she smiles out also nodding.

She stood up while he stylishly moves to the drawer, open it and put the brush in it. Lottie got on the bed while he also got on it, she snuggle closer to him while he cuddles her also.

“Don’t think about anything and just sleep” He said to her and she says nothing, closing her eyes. Rooney let out a low sigh, his eyes diverting to her hair.

“Goodnight, husband” She mutters resting her head properly on his chest.

“Goodnight” He mumbles back.

“…wife” He added after a short moment and a smile appears on her lips till she starts drifting off to dreamland.

Hours later, Rooney was finally drifting off to sleep after having some difficulties to but then he suddenly felt some movements on his body. Opening his eyes, he was met with Lottie who was wiggling and wincing in pain.

He was about to ask her what was wrong but she abruptly got away from the bed and ran into the bathroom before he could.

Alerted, he also went after her but had to stop at the doorstep on seeing her vomiting massively into the water closet, groaning in pain at the same time.

He wanted to take a step to go to her but strangely he could not move, his whole body seems perplexed and it was as if his whole system got shut down as well, he could only stares at her from the doorstep, with tears welling up in his eyes, imagining the pains… she’s going through at that moment.

If only, if only he could take it all away.

He would love to.

*. *. *.

“Lottie… Lottie dear…” A soft voice echoes out on Lottie’s hearing with a hand tapping her gently. She opens her tired eyes slowly only to meet with the image of her mother.

“Mama?” She calls out almost inaudible.

“Yes…dear” Her mother smiles at her.

“Mama…” She mutters again, this time sitting up.

“Come on let me help you…” Her mother lend her a hand.

“Why are you here so early in the morning?” She asks rubbing her eyes.

“It’s already late in the afternoon dear” Her mother replied and she looks over to the alarm immediately.

1:03 PM.

“Oh no, not again…” She mussitates.

Her mother cups her cheek.

“My baby, you’ve gotten so much different from the last time I saw you. You look more beautiful” She compliments.

“Mama…” She calls sentimentally. Her mother quickly looks away on realizing her eyes getting glassy.

She sniffs in her impending tears and faces her back with a bright smile.

“Let’s go down for lunch, I made something for you”

DOWNSTAIRS.

Lottie walks down the stairs gently with her mother holding her hand. Getting to the dining, she was rather surprised to find Rooney’s parents there also. They weren’t saying anything, all just sat with a solemn expressions on. But the moment they noticed her, they all immediately put on a smile, which looks kinda fake to her.

“Mother, Father” She calls as she gets to them. Mr and Mrs Shepherd got up and walks closer to her. One by one, she gave them a kiss on the cheeks.

“Rooney didn’t mentioned you guys coming over” She says as she took her seat.

“We ought to. It’s been a while after all, hasn’t it dear?” Mrs Shepherd said loftily to her. She smiles with a nod knowing deep down in her, they must have came after hearing about her condition since Rooney knows about it now.

Though he doesn’t say or ask her anything, she knows clearly well he must have heard from the doctor and from his sudden nice actions towards her…the sad expressions he gives her, his forced smile and everything.

She could tell.

She actually found out about her illness a week after their marriage. Then she had suddenly fainted when she went out and on being taken to the hospital, the doctor broke the sad news to her.

Surely, it was hard for her to accept. She refused to believe it, she went to two other different hospitals to confirm but they all said the same.

She was devasted and crestfallen.

Why now of all times?

How did she get it and,

Most importantly, why her?

She couldn’t bring herself to tell Rooney or her mother.

She refused to get treatment since it isn’t curable any way and she’s gonna die in the end no matter what she does.

So, instead of getting hospitalized, she preferred spending those little time she has left with the one she loves, making and creating happy memories, before everything ends for her.

She was giving a suppressing drugs for the pains which she was clearly told it’ll only take a while to work, and she tried her hardest to act as if, she’s okay, not until her health totally failed her and she ended up being found out.

Seeing her family trying hard to be okay when they’re obviously not hurts her and knowing she’s the cause of it hurts her the most.

How much pain will she cost them before leaving?

How much will they suffer because of an illness, none of them ever expected she’ll have?

If she had knew this before the wedding, then she wouldn’t have gotten married at all?

She probably would have died quietly without hurting them much?

Now look at the mess she put them in.

Especially her mother, who has no one else, except her?

This breaks her heart but what can she do?

She’s totally helpless and hopeless.

“Seat dear. I made your favorite. It’s been long I cooked for you, I missed it” Her mother smiled. She let out a small smile also and took a spoonful of the dish.

“Hmm… Mama’s food is the best as usual” She gave her a thumb up, her mother smiled and she resumed eating, gobbling it up.

“Go slow or you’ll choke” Mr shepherd told her and she nods not stopping.

But then she suddenly choke on the food, getting them all to sprang up in alert.

“Lottie!”

“Lottie!”

“Dear!”

“You alright??” All rushes to her side in a swift, holding her.

“I’m… I’m okay…” She managed to say.

“Do you feel any pain?”

“Are you in discomfort?”

“Should we just take her to the hospital?”

“I don’t think she’s okay”

“I’m fine… really. Why are you all overreacting, I only choked on the food. Water will do” She took a glass of water on the table and drink.

“See… I’m fine. Go take your seats”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Tell me if you’re_”

“I’m fine. Really” She interrupted Rooney who was still holding her.

“As you can see I’m okay. So let’s continue eating please, I’m really famished” She took her spoon back ready to dig into the food even though she’s feeling the opposite of what she said.

However, silence fills the room, all eyes stayed glued on her with expressions of worry, bitterness, and sadness.

Not feeling comfortable at how off the vibe had become, she decided to lift up the mood.

“Guess what guys!” She claps her hand.

“Rooney finally finished the painting. And I swear it’s the BEST!” She said enthusiastically.

“Really? I thought he’ll never paint again” Mrs Shepherd said.

“Well, who am I…I made him to” She flaunted proudly.

“This is all because of you dearie, thank you for waking him up” Mr Shepherd said.

“You can thank me after seeing the painting. I’ll get it for you” She said standing up but Rooney stops her.

“I’ll show them once we’re done eating” He said.

“No, I’ll bring it to them now. Wait!” She left the dining in a hurry and dashes away. Rooney made to follow her but her mother stops him.

“Leave her. Let her do what she wants” She says to him. He retreated reluctantly with a sigh.

Lottie got into the Atelier and her eyes scan everywhere in the room. She saw the half painted drawing of Desdemona and she rolled her eyes, walking further into the room.

Eventually she came across two paintings covered with a white clothing. Removing one, it turned out to be what she’s looking for, a smile spread on her lips and she proceeded to take it but then stop looking over to the other one. Out of curiosity, she removed the clothing covering it also and her mouth almost drop to the floor on seeing a naked painting of herself.

She took a step closer to it, touching it.

It definitely shocking, Rooney made such a painting of her. She never expected it. For how long has he been on it?

When exactly did he do it?

She was surprised, shocked, happy and sad at the same time.

If he could do this, does that mean even at the slightest, he feels something for her.

Does that means, he does think of her also?

Tears strolls down her cheeks, she felt it’s so unfair.

Why does she have to have this d@mn illness?

Why can’t just she just be privileged to live happily with her husband?

“She’s taking long. I’ll go check on her” Rooney stood when he couldn’t wait anymore, however taking a step, Lottie emerge with the painting in her hand and a feeble smile on her lips.

“Everyone, I present to you, my husband’s very own masterpiece… TA-DA!!” She showed them the painting while they all wowed.

“I must say son, you still got this in you. I’m impressed!” Mr Shepherd said satisfactorily.

“This is so amazing…wow, Rooney a great job you did” Lottie’s mother commended also.

“I was thinking you’ll never paint again, I’m proud of you son. Your client would certainly love this” Mrs Shepherd also smiles warmly at him.

He only let out a smile, without uttering a word.

If only they knew there’s no client.

If only they knew, the painting is the least thing he’s concerned about right now.

“Mom, Dad, Mother…” Rooney called all.

“Yes dear”

“Lottie and I…will be leaving for a trip soon” He announced getting Lottie herself surprised.

“A trip? Suddenly?” She asked.

He looks at her and smile.

“Yeah, I realized we haven’t had one ever since we got married. Our marriage was kinda in a rush also and we never got to go on dates. I would love to travel with you” He replied.

“When are you leaving?” Lottie’s mother asks.

“This weekend. You can stay here till then, so you wouldn’t miss her when we leave” He says. Her mother says nothing but only nods and the place went silent again.

Not liking how the mood has dampen, she decided to bring back the lively mood.

“By the way since I made him paint this I must be his inspiration, right Rooney?” Lottie grins widely to him but however was welcomed by a disheartened expression from him.

Her smile went down immediately.

“Why is there…” She couldn’t finish her statement when she felt some liquid streaming down her lips probably from her nose.

She was having a nosebleed and the worst part of it, the blood is tickling down from both nostrils at the same time.

“Lottie” Rooney immediately grab some tissues, attaching it to her nose why the rest just watch her in silence.

“I… I’m fine…” She collect the tissue wet with her blood already from Rooney and let out a smile.

Rooney grab another tissue since the blood wouldn’t stop, putting it again.

“Excuse me I… I’ve got to use the restroom” When her mother couldn’t stand the scene, she had to walk away from there.

“Mama…” She calls slowly after her.

LATER. GUESTROOM.

“Mama…” Lottie calls slowly from the doorstep, her mother who was on the bed crying quickly wipe off her tears.

“Daughter…” She let out a smile.

“Come on” She gestured for her to come inside and she did, joining her on the bed.

“I thought you only wanted to use the restroom, why are you on the bed?” Lottie asked.

“Were you crying… your eyes looks red?” She added.

“No I was not, I was only fixing my lashes and my finger mistakenly poked my eyes, it pains” She rubs her eyes.

“You must h@ťě me right?” Lottie mutters, almost tearfully.

“Why would you say that? I don’t I…I love you more than any other thing Lottie”

“But…but I kept it a secret from you. I didn’t tell you anything…if Rooney hadn’t informed you, you wouldn’t have probably found out… I’m such a bad daughter, trying to die without her mother’s knowing. I’m so bad” She says with a broken voice, her mother cups her face, her tears flowing down her cheeks also.

“No… it’s my fault. For not being attentive enough… I’m the bad one. I’m not competent enough as your mother… I’m sorry dear” She sobs, Lottie threw her arms around her.

“I’m sorry Mama… I’m sorry for leaving first, I’m sorry for leaving you all alone. I’m sorry for…for…” She hiccups, choking on her tears.

“Shhhh…say no more. Say no more daughter…I love you” Her mother said tearfully.

“I love you Mama…I love you too…” She sobs over her shoulder.

*

*

*

AIRPORT.

“Dress well, don’t catch a cold and don’t skip any meals. We’ll call you” Mr Shepherd said to Lottie, then give her a hug.

“Yes Father, don’t worry” She smiles back, Mr Shepherd steps back and Mrs Shepherd came forward holding her two palms, rubbing them tenderly.

“Don’t stay out too late. Sleep early, if you feel any pains, don’t hesitate to let Rooney know. Take care of yourself dear uh?”

“Yes mother” They hugged also. Then her mother comes next.

They gave each other a sad farewell smiles.

“Remember…I love you daughter” She said, her voice breaking. Lottie bobbled her head.

“And I will always love you…” Her mother added.

Lottie hugs her.

“Mama…take care of yourself. Don’t cry too much, don’t think too much…get a boyfriend and live life to the fullest” She said to her, her Mother hugs her back.

“I’ll get a man of your age, have a loud wedding and bore a beautiful daughter who’s gentle and soft. Certainly not like you”

“Make sure to bore a son too…and don’t tell them about the unfilial daughter you once had”

“Lottie…”

“Don’t miss me too much Mama, because I won’t alright?” She says in tears.

“In my next life… let’s meet again as Mother and daughter. Then, I’ll be your Mother…”

“I love you so much daughter. I love you”

“Farewell Mama… I’ll leave first” She disengage from the hug to behold her mother’s face soaked with tears already.

“Lottie…” Her mother held her hand tightly, not wanting to let go.

“Please dear…”

“I love you…” Was the only thing she say before removing her hand from her hold forcefully, she turns and began leaving them hurriedly.

“Then, we’ll leave now Mother. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her” Rooney gave them a quick hug before running after Lottie who was in tears already.

Her mother also break down totally, while Mrs Shepherd held her, comforting her, her eyes forming tears also.

Mr Shepherd only stood in bitterness, watching the women sobs bitterly.

~HOURS LATER~ GERMANY.

AT THE HANGER.

Almost throughout the flight, Lottie slept after crying her eyes out earlier.

Their plane finally landed, and he was forced to wake her up, helping her down from the plane.

“Are you okay?” He asked and she nods gently. He adjusted the muffler on her head properly.

“Do you feel cold?” He asked.

“Let’s find something to eat, I’m hungry” She smiles.

“As if I knew that, I told the Hotel to prepare something already, let’s go” He held her hand leaving but on taking a few steps, a sudden downpour started, surprising them all.

“What the f-__-k! It’s raining” She said putting her palm above her head.

“I don’t have an umbrella…” He took off his jacket and put it over her head.

“Come on let’s hurry” He said guilding her, to the airport.

HOTEL.

“You okay?” Rooney asks getting a dry towel to wipe the wetness on her.

“I’m fine…” She mutters with a smile.

“Oh no you’re all wet. You should take off your clothes” He said.

“So you could see how wet I am down there?” She teases shocking him a bit.

“Why aren’t you saying anything, is that a lie?” She wiggle her brows.

“I’ll get you some dry clothes to change into, you should take those off first so as not to catch a cold” He gave her her the towel and turns to walk away but she pull him back, hanging her arms around his neck.

Before he could say anything, she stood on her toes and smashes her lips on his. The towel falling from her hand.

He didn’t bother to pull away, instead he pulled her closer by the waist, kissing her back as if he had been expecting it.

Their lips conjoin in a long sloppy kiss, their tongues battling with each other and their lips making popping sounds.

As each seconds passes, the kiss keeps on getting more intense so as their body keeps getting more heated up. She ran her fingers up his shirt unbuttoning it, their lips not unlocking, in a swift, his shirt went off his body and her hand transferred to his pants, but before she could do anything, he pulls away from the kiss.

“No…we can’t do this…I shouldn’t be doing that…” He backed away.

“Rooney?” She steps closer but he stops her.

“You shouldn’t come closer anymore, I’m sorry Lottie…”

“You don’t have to be, I want it. Rooney can you touch me, I want to feel you in me… again” She requested, but he only shook his head.

“You’re not…I can’t do this to you…i can’t bear to hurt you, I’ll only be a jerk to do that…no…”

“No, I want it. I want to do it when my body will still be able to take it. I want to do it, when I’m still in my normal self, so please…don’t reject me, Rooney” She stares deeply at him, affectionately and desperately leaving him in no means but to surrender.

He said nothing and she smiles feebly, taking his silence as a Yes.

Then slowly she went on her knees, her hands on his pants, unbuckling it and pulling it down.

He lets out a sigh, his heart beating fast in his ribcage. He felt her hold on his joystick, which reacted to her touch, standing straight already.

“Lottie…” He calls with uncertainty.

“Don’t worry…this time, I won’t bite you, nor cut it off” She smirks at him and before he could utter a word, her mouth enwrap it, getting him to let out a shaky breath.

“Lottie…” A low groan left his mouth.

~T.B.C~