✧ I WANT TO JUST DIE ✧
She shivers as his fingers came in contact of her skin.
“I’m sorry!” She blurted out with her eyes closed. Bin looks at her with a smirk. He has no intention of doing anything. He just wanna tease her. He withdrew his hand and got away from her taking his hoodie. Addison opens one of her eyes and saw him wearing his hoodie. She released a seized breathe sitting up also. Robin stood up after wearing his hoodie, he took his raincoat and walk out of the barn without saying a word.
“Oh! Wait for me!” Addison quickly got up also, luckily her eyes got her hairpin and she quickly took it inserting it in her pocket then she rushed out also.
“Bin! Wait…ugh why is he so d@mn fast?” Addison grutch running to him but in the process she hurt herself.
“Arggh!!”
Her grunts made Bin look back. He creased his brows when he saw her crouching.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Robin…i got hurt” She whinned like a baby.
Bin went back immediately he crouched before her looking at her injured leg.
“Why are you barefooted? Where are your shoes?” He demanded.
“I don’t have any” Came her response.
“Hey why didn’t you say so you stupid blobfish!” He poked her forehead and she pouted.”
“It’s only a scratch” He said looking at the injured foot.
“But it hurts” She whinned, Bin sighs. He could see a few scratches also probably from the other night.
“You’re a pain” He stood helping her up also.
“Seriously…” He muttered stepping away a little and to her surprise he turns back at her and squatted.
“Hop on”
A wide grin appeared on her face and without wasting much seconds, she ascended on his back.
***
“Stop playing with my hair” Bin said to Addison who kept picking at his hair.
“I’m not…I’m only removing some dirts”
“It doesn’t seems like that…stop it” He grits.
“Come on stop being so uptight…” She mumbles.
“Should I just throw you away?”
“Alright alright…I’ll stop” She withdrew her and resting her chin on her shoulder, she smiled.
BARN HOUSE.
“Get off nicely”
“Come on…take me inside” Addison wrapped her legs around him tightly, not letting go.
“I’ll surely pay you back for this” He opens the door and went in. Addison chuckles. Just as they got inside, Finn also got out of his room so they met. His eyes hooked with theirs and Addison gasps.
Finn looks at both as if he just caught them cheating on him whilst Addison also looks at him like she just got caught cheating. Bin, however had a blank expression on. Instinctively, Addison got down before Bin could even told her to and the moment she did, Bin walked over to his room not saying anything.
“Finn…Hi” Addison waves at him smiling awkwardly but her smile didn’t last long cause Finn snubbed her and walks away. Strangely, she felt hurt by his actions. Her hand remains in the air for almost a minute before bringing it down. And when she did, she walks to her room slowly.
“Bin!” Finn stopped Bin just as he was about entering his room.
“Before you spew nonsense just know I just came back from clearing the messes you made” Bin said before he could say anything. He placed his palm on the door knob and made to open it but then Finn’s words made him stopped again.
“I’m sorry” He apologize. Bin slowly looks back to him not withdrawing his hand from the door knob.
“I went too far last night. Sorry for that Bin” He added. Bin slowly nodded.
“As long as you know”
“Where did you two slept last night?”
“Must I tell you that?” He finally opens the door and went in. Finn pocketed his hands and sighs staring at the door for some while.
Addison hopped on the bed the moment she got into her room. She released a heavy sigh remembering how Finn had snubbed her earlier. Why did he do that? Why does she feels so hurt by that?
A knock impeded her thought and she titled her head up.
“Come in” She mumbled not bothering to get away from the bed.
The door opens and Finn stepped in holding the first aid kit.
“Finn?” She sat up on seeing him. Finn closed the door and went in fully. She got away from the bed instantly as he walks towards her.
“Finn…” She called again.
“Take your sit” He made her sit on the bed back and crouch in front of her. He took her feet and examined it for a while.
“I’m okay…” She withdrew her feet from him and he stood away from her.
“I’ll be back” He walked into the bathroom and moments later came back with a bowl of water and a towel. Then he squatted in front of her again taking her right foot.
“I’m really okay” She mumbles looking down at him but he ignored her cleaning her foot with the wet towel. She sighs and just gave up.
“I’m sorry” Came his solemn voice after a while.
“Uh?”
“I was senseless, reckless and stupid” He said again.
“I caused this” He completed.
“No…I I wasn’t just being careful enough”
“That won’t change the fact that you almost got in trouble because of me. And you got hurt also”
“I’m really okay…”
He dropped her left foot and put the water aside.
“What really happened?” He asked opening the first aid kit.
“Ohh…after you left some people suddenly appeared and I made a run for it”
“What about Bin? Why was he with you?”
“Somehow…he found me. And brought me new clothes”
“Where did you stay overnight?”
“At an old abandoned barn”
“Are you okay?”
“Um…I’m fine”
He looks up to her, their eyes locked for a while but she broke it first biting her lips. Finn smiles.
“Go get dressed. We have a $h00t”
“Uh? A $h00t?”
“Uh…apparently PM wants us to start $h00ting today. The crew members arrived yesterday and we’ve been waiting for Bin and you”
“But…why? I thought…”
“I’m not sure of why he’s suddenly rushing it also. He must have a reason. Come on go get dressed…we’re starting soon” He arose and she stood also.
“Your clothes are over there. I brought it earlier” He pointed to a suit placed neatly on the couch.
“Ohh…”
“You should get dressed” He said and she nodded. He mussed up her hair, smiles at her before leaving.
Addison looks at her feet and smiles biting her lips.
BIN’S ROOM.
Robin stepped out of the shower. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist then walked over to the mirror. Water dripped down his body so as from his hair.
He wiped the mirror with his hands staring at himself. His mind went back to what Addison told him the other night.
~FLASHBACK~
“All my life…I’ve never once thought there was gonna be a day I’d go back into music. If someone told me I’d be doing what I’m doing right now then I’d probably said he or she is crazy. Ever since I was young I’ve always loved music. Everything about me virtually revolves around it. And it wasn’t only me…same goes for Aiden also. My twin brother. To us music was like our triplet. We couldn’t do without it. Whenever we’re sad we sing, when we’re happy, we sing. When we are lonely and bored singing was the only thing we do. It was strange cause non of my parents came from the field. So they were marveled at our utmost love for it. It was obvious that was our dream so they wasted no effort in making steps to make us fulfil it. We attend numerous music classes, we worked hard and we were the best”
“So, what was the matter?” Bin asked.
“I…have always been a victim of bullying right from my elementary days. Strangely, those brats always have their eyes on me. They always targeted me. No one knew about this. I kept it within me since it wasn’t that extreme. But things got worse on my first year in high school. It was as if the whole world was against me. I’m always getting picked on without any tangible reasons and my talent for singing made things worse. In other worse it gained me more enemies. I had a particular rival then…just like me she has a talent for music but you know how it always goes…I was better and that apparently pissed her off so I became her target for destruction. She made everything in her might possible to make sure she frustrated my life. I was beaten, thr_@tened and Oppressed. I couldn’t tell anyone for the fear of the same thing happening to Aiden since that was how I was thr_@tened. Transferring would have been better, but I couldn’t cause I was chosen for an international music competition alongside with her. I saw it as a step towards achieving my dream. An opportunity no sane teenager dare refuse. So I ignored any other things and went for it. Had I known that would be the worst day of my life, I would have listened.
She was annoyingly nice to me that day, I should have suspected. Unknown to me, the drink I had had been tampered with. Except for the normal nervousness of facing a crowd of thousands. I was sure there were nothing else wrong with me until I started singing. I shocked the audience and most especially myself. My voice was like that of a Banshee, warning the audience of an impending death of their ears perhaps. A loud roar of laughter sprung out…everywhere went totally berserk. It was really hilarious, you should have seen everybody’s faces. They were all laughing like they inhaled the laughing gas. I would have been tempted to laugh also. If only I wasn’t the one they were laughing at. Maybe there was a mistake, that can’t probably be me. I continued but then some people almost rolled down the chairs. Cameras lights flickers, comments roared from every angles…fingers started pointing and hot tears trickled down my eyes.
It was a live performance but I ended up making a fool out of myself. I was so embarrassed that I felt like disappearing right there at the moment. To think everyone across the country watched that, what a failure I was.
Since then I h@ťěd music…I ran away from it, I regretted everything, even having the dream. I couldn’t stood on stage any longer, I instantly developed a phobia for it. Everything about it irritates me…I couldn’t take it anymore so I relocated to Singapore where no one knows me. I stayed with my aunt and reconstructed my life. I forsake anything that has to do with music and just live doing no particular thing. Years later, I came back home only to find myself coming back to the same world of music” She looks at him and smiles.
“That’s why you’re very important to me Robin. I’ve never had someone to protect or take my side but then you always appear everytime I’m in a distress. Knowing I have you protecting me always and you’ll always show up whenever I need you, I feel assured and secured. I wonder sometimes…if I had met you sooner then would my life have been a little different than this? Wouldn’t I have given up on music then? But then I realized maybe it’s just not the path for me. You know you can’t cheat fate. What’s bound to happen will happen. Nevertheless, I’m glad I met someone like you. I’m sure I wouldn’t have come this far if not for your intervention everytime things goes wrong. One thing I’m sure of, even after everything ends, even after everything goes back to how it used to. Even when things finally go back to their original places…even when that time comes I will never to forget you. Even if there would be no reason for us to meet or talk anymore…I promise to always think of you now and then. You’ve done so much I’m grateful for Robin so that’s why…I can never forget you…My Black knight”
End of Flashback.
“Stupid blobfish…” Bin snorted and grab a small towel.
He came out of the bathroom with a towel on his head.
“What are you doing here?” He creased a brow at Viola who was sitting on his bed.
Viola snapped her head up and smiles seeing him. She drops her phone which she was pressing and stood up.
“Isn’t it obvious? I was waiting for you”
“What do you want?”
“Where did you go early in the morning? I came but couldn’t find you”
“Do you have anything to say?” He ignored her question. Viola walked closer to him. She took her hand to his hair and started drying it with the towel but Bin held her hand.
“What are you doing?”
“$h00ting starts today”
“What?”
“You know what that means? I think he’s gonna move up the album release date”
Bin walks away from her to the wardrobe.
“So?”
“Aren’t you even bothered one bit? This will be the first album you’ll be releasing without him”
“So what do you want me to do? He chose to leave so let it be!”
“Seriously Robin?”
“Leave…I want to dress up”
“Are you really fine with everything? You don’t even know if he’s dead or alive. You don’t really care??”
“Does he? He left like that without a word. It’s been almost a year now. Viola now I’m tired that I don’t even wanna talk about him”
“I see…alright. I won’t talk about him any longer. I’ll take my leave now” She turns leaving. Robin released a frustrated sigh and call her back.
“Viola!” She turns back and look at him.
“I’m sorry”
“You don’t have to apologize. I understand”
“Are you okay?”
She smiles.
“I’ll be…see you later” She left the room.
$h00tING SCENE.
Ash gulped down a bottle of water. He has been feeling a slight headache ever since he woke up. Maybe it’s because he cried himself to sleep the other night or it was as a result of the little drink he had. He wasn’t sure. He rubbed his forehead taking another gulp from the bottle.
“Ash!” Addison called excitedly on sighting him.
“Hey there Newbie. Wow you’re looking good” He complimented earning a chuckle from her.
“But what’s with the sudden $h00ting?” She asked.
“I’m surprised just like you are. PM must be crazy. He had a motive behind this trip of his. We were totally hoodwinked” Ash whisper to her. She chuckles again.
He smiles.
“But Ash…you okay? You look kinda dull this morning” She stared at him.
“I? I look okay. Perfect!” He winks.
HOURS LATER.
The headache seems to intensify every minute. By now he knows clearly well it isn’t just a normal headache. It was what he feared the most. Sweats gathered at his forehead as the photographer keep taking shots of them. The flickering lights isn’t really helping him right now. If anything, it makes the headache worse. Nevertheless, he tries holding it in…he can do it. He just have to make sure to round off this shots.
Minutes passed and he could feel himself going crazy already. Luckily, they stopped the $h00ting and they were given ten minutes break to get ready for the next concept. Ash didn’t waste any seconds in whizzing himself out of there before he finally go bonkers in front of all. Addison who had been noticing him acting strange couldn’t help but follow him.
On getting back to the Barn house, Ash rush to his room straight, by now his head was banging hard and it hurts like hell. He stumbled to his drawer and brought out his medication. Opening it with his hands shaking badly, he took two tablets and throws it down his throat, but almost immediately he did that, a deafening ring resonated in his left ear.
“ARGHH!!” He held unto the ear instantly and this action made the tablets got stuck in his throat.
In pains and agony, he creep into the bathroom groaning, really loud. He manage to turn on the shower so the rushing sounds of water will decimate his cries. The intensity of the ringing increases in his ear that he feels its gonna tear apart any moment soon. He held unto it tightly and scream out loud.
“ARGGGGHHHHH!!!”
Addison knock on his door countlessly, but he won’t open the door. She could feel he’s in there and something is not right.
“Ash I’m coming in!” She said loud enough for him to hear before opening the door going in.
“Where is he?” She thought out loud looking around the room. Her eyes caught the scattered meditation on the floor and she went closer picking it up.
“What’s this?” She dropped it after peering at it for a while then stood and went towards the bathroom.
“Ash are you in there?” She knocked on the door but the only thing she could hear is the running water.
“Why would he be taking a sudden shower? Something is strange”
She knocked on the door again.
“Ash! Ash are you okay in there!! Ash!”
Ash snapped his head up. His eyes was already red and his veins are already $h00ting out. His face was already soaked with tears and even mucus ran down his nose.
“No…” He groans crawling to the door to lock it but the pain gripping him couldn’t let him to that.
“Ash I’m coming in! I am!!” Addison’s voice came again and within few seconds the door opens. Addison’s eyes raked around the bathroom and when it landed on the groaning Ash on the floor. She shrieked.
“ASH!!!” She ran to him immediately holding him.
“OH, MY GOD!! ASH WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU! ARE YOU OKAY!! ASH WHAT’S WRONG!!”
“New…bie…its…its hurts” He clutch unto her arms.
“I feel like dy…ing…i want…to just die…”
“Ash what’s happening with you? You’re scaring me!” Addison held the shaky Ash. She was already on the verge of tears
“New…bie…newbie…it hurts so much…I feel…like dying…it hurts…like hell…” He wailed in her arms while the pending tears eventually trickled down Addison’s face.
“Ash….” She held him tightly in his arms.
.
.
.
TB CONTINUED