My Husband and I
Dark Romance ?
Part 3
Episode 31
~ Mary’s POV ~
A few hours have gone by since Shola left this morning. Although I was worrying about his abrupt departure. Abbey did a good job moving my attention elsewhere. He planned a day for us to spend together.
After we ate breakfast, we both got dressed and headed to the mall. This time, allowing Abbey to buy me clothes because I’ll be going back to work in a few days.
We had quite the adventure while we were out. I never knew that shopping with a man could be fun. He helped me decide which outfits to wear, sitting outside the dressing room waiting for me to appear in different clothes. He complimented me each time I exited the dressing room causing my face to heat at the attention. It was an odd experience but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it. It differed from what my husband would do which was to not come at all.
After he bought me a few clothes to wear, we walked around casually — with him holding all the bags. At some point, I tried to reach a hand out to take some, but he placed my hand in his, holding onto it.
Later, when we felt we had enough windows shopping, we went back to his place, grabbing some food along the way. As soon as we got back, we settled down in the living room to eat and watch TV.
Sometime later, I had my head on Abbey’s legs as we both looked at the screen I was refreshing. My body wasn’t tensed in his presence, it had no reason to be.
In the few months, we’ve gotten to know each other, Abbey has made me feel comfortable with him. To a certain extent seeing as there was the ‘thing’ I have yet to mention to him.
Though I knew he was curious about it. I knew letting him know would embarrass me, but it would also be the next step in what we had going on. Although I’ve been cheating on my husband, I haven’t fully had segz with Abbey. If we did, I’d officially cross the very thin line that’s been drawn and it made me feel uneasy.
Sure, being with Abbey felt great but the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
Admittedly, I was worried that Abbey might turn out to be the same. That he’d grow to dislike me and would like to get rid of me. I was already a burden now, imagine if Shola keep acting like this for weeks.
I wasn’t sure what to call what we share. Relationship? Friends with benefits? Then again, I was reaping the benefits more than Abbey. It wouldn’t make sense to call it such.
A part of me didn’t understand why he wanted me. I was far from being a beauty queen with stretch marks, scars, and a tiny figure that screamed I wasn’t taking care of myself.
However, recently staring in the mirror, I’ve noticed my body change with added weight. It wasn’t a dramatic change, but it was something that may have been there because of how many times Abbey made sure I eat and rest.
***
Being here along with Shola kept me cool and well taken care of. I don’t regret being there, I only feel bad I was married and shouldn’t be in another man’s house. But then my life was at risk. What if I had died that night? What would John say?
Maybe because he felt I had no mother and father nor siblings that would fight on my behalf. Thinking about this whole thing would make me remember my days in the orphanage, so I averted the thought with the speed of light.
Anyway, I knew Abbey wasn’t a wicked man seeing as he’s never lied to me. He had always been an honest man since we met. It was my mind, my insecurities wanting to ruin what little good I have. And I don’t want what I have with Abbey to go away, I loved it much. I like him too which was the problem.
What happens when I have to let go of this fantasy? When I have to go back home. Unsurprisingly, the word sounded bitter in my head and my heart beat faster. Just thinking of going back had my body ready to hurt itself into a panic attack. I knew I couldn’t stay here forever, but seeing John my husband again filled me with anxiety and anger. So much anger for a man I loved.
My fist clenched as my body tensed, no longer laughing at the TV. Weeks have passed and I’ve not heard a word from him. Even though I didn’t have my phone, he had Comfort’s number to check on me. He didn’t even do that!
My husband threw me out in the chilly rain and hasn’t checked to see if I’m ok.
What did I do to deserve this? Have I not been a good woman to him? I did everything right! I did it all! I stuck by him which was the sole reason for me to lose our.. No, no, no, it wasn’t fair!
****
“Mary?” The voice of a concerned man reached my ears and my eyes blinked. Not realizing that they became wet with tears.
Sitting up abruptly, discreetly wiping my face, I didn’t face him.
There I go running the mood with my thoughts.
“Sorry, allergies.” I lied through my teeth. I was sure he could tell I wasn’t telling the truth because my voice was shaky.
I shifted so I could leave the couch, Abbey gently grabbed onto my elbow, turning me his way. Ducking my head out of shame for being caught crying, he lifted it so our eyes could meet.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Nothing, I told you… ,” he gave me a stern stare knowing I was lying again.
“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me, Mary. You can talk to me.”
And I wanted to talk to him, but it was about my marriage and Abbey was… .well, it would be awkward. I shouldn’t discuss my marriage with him and I didn’t want to bother Comfort with my mess. She was happy I wasn’t with John anymore, and I didn’t want to ruin that for her with my bullshit. So, I changed the topic, hoping Abbey wouldn’t catch on.
“I—um, I want to have segz,” I blurted out and when the silence continued, I opened my mouth again, wringing my fingers.
“With you ..” I added lamely.
Truly, I did conclude that I wanted to have segz. Yes, I would cross the line and officially cheat on my husband, but I want Abbey. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone or anything. So I may be lying about why I was crying, but I wasn’t lying when I said I want us to have segz.
“Ok…,” he said slowly, still holding the confused look on his face.
“But that doesn’t explain why you’re crying.”
Before I had the chance to wipe my tears again, he did it for me with a swipe of his thumbs.
“Uh, it’s kind of embarrassing. I… I shouldn’t have said anything.” I said not knowing which was worse.
Admittedly I was thirsty for rich segz and crying about my husband who doesn’t love me. Maybe I should have just told him since I was positive he thought I was a naughty girl. God, I wanted to slap myself for being this way.
“Mary,” his tone was serious as he kept his stare on me.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed about anything. I want you to feel comfortable with me and trust me enough to tell me what is on your mind.
“Trust is important and if at any you don’t feel that trust or uncomfortable, tell me so I can fix it. Ok?”
“Are you willing to tell me what’s going on? Does this have anything to do with what you said earlier?” I nodded again before averting my gaze.
“It’s just that with segz….,”
I wrung my hands to which he paced them in his warm grasp. Gently soothingly rubbing them to help calm me down.
“It doesn’t really work for me. I mean penetration. It doesn’t work.”
“What do you mean it doesn’t work?” I sneaked a peak over to gauge his reaction, but he just seemed a little confused.
“I mean when I have real segz, penetration doesn’t … ,” his lips twitched slightly, but he kept them still.
Unmoved, though I knew I hadn’t hallucinated the moment. Continuing, I told him what I’d been worried to tell him since thinking of segz with him.
“I don’t reach 0rg@zm.
“Oh.” That was all he said, and I took that as the time to further explain myself.
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t experience 0rg@zm from other things like what we’ve been doing. I mean there was this one time I did, but just once. And it never happened before so, I….”
“You were able to reach once? What changed?” he asked genuinely curious, and I inwardly groaned. I shouldn’t have said that.
“Uh.”
“Trust and comfortability, remember?” he reminded me, still holding onto my hands. I looked at him and nodded. Trust and comfortability, I repeated in my mind.
“I thought of you,” his eyes widened in surprise. As in he was shocked.
Rshing out words to not damage his image of me further. I said, “I know, know. It was weird and stupid, but I’m sorry for..”
He gathered himself, stopping me from rumbling. “There’s no need to apologize. I’m flattered that you thought of me, naughty, Mary,” he teased lightly before leaning down and kissing my lips.
“You are?” I asked once he backed away.
“Who wouldn’t be?” smiling at him at his rhetorical question, I kissed him instead.
After pulling away, he asked a question I wasn’t expecting.
“Which positions have you done?”
I hesitated briefly before answering. “Missionary and from behind.”
“That’s it?” he asked as if he were in disbelief which made me look up at him in confusion. Is there more?
“Yes… .?” my answer seemed more like a question.
“Those are the only ones I know of,” I told him honestly.
He cleared his throat. “I only asked because sometimes with segz, there may be different positions that make you feel the utmost pleasure compared to the ones that don’t. But you’ve only one two positions, right?”
“There are more than two?” His words gave me all the confirmation I needed. I felt like a numbskull for not knowing something like that.
Does that make me less desirable as a woman for not knowing? Would he still want me? I needed to find out. “Are you surprised?”
“Why would I be?” his brows furrowed.
“Because I’m broken when it comes to segz and I don’t know other positions. What if I can’t please you?” I whispered the last part averting my gaze from his.
“Pretty, I’m more worried about making sure you receive pleasure than myself. And you are not broken. Why do you think of yourself this way, darling? He assured me while also saying some words I did not understand.
Pulling me into his arms, we embraced. He ran his hand along my back soothingly.
“But….”
“We will figure it out, ok?”
“But what if I can’t.. “
The protest died on my lips when he cut me off. Backing away from the hug, he kissed my lips. His breath fanned across my face as he kissed me sweetly.
“We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry, pretty Mary.”
To be continued…
Frank The Writer