My Husband and I
Dark Romance ?
Part 2 (Episode 19)
~ Mary’s POV ~
I think Abbey could sense something was off with me today. He had continuously been asking if I was feeling okay, causing me to lie through my teeth and say yes. I knew I should have canceled, and called him earlier to do so. But he begged to see me and there was no way I could say no. And when I arrived at our park meeting, he surprised me with a picnic set up for us.
He packed a blanket, pillows, and mini fans, along with food and plenty of water. How could a man be so thoughtful and sweet? Even when he knew I was married. How could he be this kind?
When I saw the sweet gesture, I stuffed down my depression, smiling and joking with him, trying to be lighthearted. Yet finding myself failing miserably. I wanted to listen to him speak as he talked of his family and homeland. But it was almost as if my brain was rejecting the idea. I would accidentally fume him out, his voice fading from my ears.
While I stared into space thinking about my husband and becoming sad. His words from the other night rang in my ear.
You don’t deserve to be loved.
How could he say something so vile? After all we’ve been through. All sacrifices we have made. I lost my child because of him! d@mn him!
“Mary,” Abbey’s voice snapped me out of my trance. I saw him glancing, down at my hands, and I hadn’t realized I had balled them up out of anger. I looked back into his eyes to see concern shining in them and I felt bad. Abbey planned a nice day for us and here I sat, destroying it.
“Are you ok?”
I nodded.
“Yes,” I stuttered. “I’ve got a lot on my mind. I’m sorry for ruining today.
“Don’t say that. Nothing has been ruined. The day is still as beautiful as you,” he smiled. And though I tried to do the same, I couldn’t. My face seemed to tilt up awkwardly before I looked away.
A breeze whispered past us, moving my hair with the warm air. As silence settled between us, I had to agree with Abbey. It was a beautiful day. The sky was painted light blue as white clouds moved by slower than a snail’s pace. The trees and grasses were so green that they were almost blinding. Luckily, we weren’t facing the sun, my eyes would have burnt. But I could feel the warmth of it on my exposed skin. It was a perfect picture for an artist to paint.
“What’s one thing you have missed doing?” Abbey asked and I was surprised why he asked.
“Um, I have actually missed baking. It’s been long and I do not have the ingredients and stuff to make them,” I told him.
“Oh? That’s cool. I love cakes,” he giggled. His smile was contagious, so I smiled back.
“Yes, I love to bake at home. I have a small portion where I do my stuff.”
At the thought of home, I grew solemn again. I could sense my eye beginning to tear up and I blinked them back. Oh, God. I turned away from him, so he wouldn’t see anything.
“How about…,” he trailed off before moving close to me. “We make a deal.”
“A deal?”
He nodded with a smile. “I’ll buy you supplies of ingredients for your baking if you tell me what’s making you upset.”
Before I could protest he continued. “It doesn’t matter if you want a little or a lot of supplies. I’ll buy the whole thing you need for the baking. Just as a concerned friend, tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours,” he stopped.
Tell him! Don’t tell him. Tell him! Voices conflicted in my head, leaving me confused and dumbfounded.
I hesitated. Wanting to tell him, but would it be a mistake? Would he look at me differently? Would our dynamic change? I didn’t want to lose the little that we had. Admittedly, I wanted to keep Abbey in my life. The stranger who became my friend—and was one of the two people who made me happy in their company. I would have talked to Comfort, but she would have blown a gasket.
Frankly, I didn’t want to see her pissed or in handcuffs, or both. But Abbey didn’t know John. He didn’t know what he looked like or it’s not like he’d have the same reaction. It’s not like I wanted him or Comfort to do something, but I knew Comfort would. And my friend had too much good going on to be mixed with my bad.
“I don’t want my relationship with my husband to cause a rift in our friendship,” I admitted. He softly used his hand to brush against my cheek. I let out a quiet gasp as he shifted my head to look at him. Our eyes clashed together.
“It won’t. You can talk to me,” he said.
I could see the sincerity in his eyes clashing together. So, with a heavy heart, I told him what was bothering me.
“I don’t think my husband loves me anymore,” I whispered, my lips wobbling as tears escaped my eyes. And just as he pulled me into his arms, I started sobbing.
Throughout my blubbering, I managed to tell him the hurtful words that John threw at me. Abbey just hugged me tighter, rocking us back and forth. I knew it was wrong to seek comfort from another man. A man I shared feelings for, but it felt good to cry. To let out what I’ve been holding onto and the pain John inflicted on my heart.
I did everything for him and how could he say that? I was a good wife to him after all.
Why—When—Where did I go wrong? Was I really so undeserving for not wanting another child? I catered to his every whim! I Loved him as no woman would! What did I do wrong?
Although Abbey permitted me to unload everything on him, I only told him of the words John said. I didn’t want him to know everything else yet. The useless segz, the past few months at home, John’s anger…No, I don’t want Abbey to pity me.
But when I finished crying, and he wiped my eyes, I saw his furrow in an expression I’d never witnessed on his face.
Anger.
“Abbey?” I called him timidly. His Adam’s apple bobbed harshly as he swallowed. He opened his mouth, about to speak, but closed it. Stopping himself from saying something that he must have felt he shouldn’t.
He must be thinking the worst right now. “I’m sorry..”
“Don’t,” he interrupted. His voice rumbled as he spoke. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
I sniffled, not knowing what to say. Though he didn’t let go of me completely, he grabbed a tissue from the basket and wiped my face for me. I protested at first, but he shushed me, politely. I didn’t mind it tho. Rather, it felt good to have someone who seems to care about me in such a way.
“Thank you,” I told him once he was done.
“For…?”
“For listening and,” I gestured to myself at a loss for words.
Though I still sensed his anger through the tenses of his body, his eyes softened. A tiny smile appeared on his face.
“No thanks needed,” he gestured toward me the same way I did. We both laughed, and I felt a part of me right itself. I was still sad, but his arms had a magical way of making a woman feel better.
“Now, how about I clean this up and we go get your supplies?”
“I can help…”
“Nope,” he moved from me before standing, making me miss the warmth his arms provided.
“I clean, you sit,” he demanded, politely.
Again, I wasn’t sure how he made that possible. So I did as he said and watched him return items to the picnic basket. Once he finished, he carried both the blanket and basket, then took my hand in his and walked us toward our cars that were parked next to each other.
We didn’t speak about my little cry. It’s like he somehow knew I just needed to get it off my chest. I didn’t want to talk about my marriage, I just needed to vent. And when we were shopping, he made good on his promise to buy me wh@ťěver I want.
At first, I was hesitant, but then he began putting items in the cart I didn’t need. He made me laugh the whole time we shopped, insisting I get inside the cart when I confessed I never did as a kid. I sat in the large part as he drove the cart, dipping through aisles as I laughed in delight.
Then, when we had more supplies than I needed, we left the store. Heading back to our cars when I told him I wasn’t hungry. Though he still stopped at a fast food place and ordered me something, anyway.
When we had to say goodbye, he made me promise to show off my…when he planned to show me his apartment I agreed and kept some of the supplies in his car while he placed the rest in mine.
We hugged each other tightly, not wanting to let go. I wish I could stay in his arms forever.
“Let’s go,” he said.
Our next destination was Abbey’s apartment. Who would have believed a day like this would come?
To be continued…
Frank The Writer